Tuesday, September 04, 2007

It's not morning sickness...

It's really morning, noon and night sickness, ugh, and it's driving me mad and making me depressed. All I want to do is be able to get in the car and drive myself somewhere without feeling queasy, nauseous, or worrying about where I can pull over in a hurry if it gets too overwhelming and I have to puke. (Or dry heave, which is almost worse.) I've had to quit my job because I can't handle hearing all the people coming in and mulling around, it makes me feel sick to my stomach and if I'm already tense and feeling nauseous, it makes me throw up for sure. I can barely walk out to the chicken coop let alone do any real exercise, and that has me worried for labor and delivery. I've tried every drug they've thrown at me, Reglan, Pepcid, etc., but nothing really seems to work. The other day, I blew $40 and bought some vitamin B6 lozenges in the hopes that they will help. Yesterday and today were pretty good days, but I'm so afraid that tomorrow is just going to be another crap day.

It's really getting me depressed. All I can do most days is drive down to the post office, walk inside and pick up the mail, drive back home, and get into bed for most of the day. That's not what I'm used to doing. I'm really worried that it's going to stay this way for the duration of the pregnancy, and again, that has me worried about labor and delivery, not to mention how the hell I'm going to get to prenatal classes in Plattsburgh!

I shouldn't be stressing about this too much, I know. What's going to happen is going to happen, and I just need to find a way to deal with it.

Tom has been much better lately in dealing with my incapacitation. He was great the other night when my stomach was out of control - he kept bringing me fresh towels and ice packs and he rubbed my feet and brought me cold ginger tonic. He kept saying, "Don't panic, calm down," but I'm not sure if he was talking to me or just to himself. He doesn't take illness any better than I do, particularly when I'm the one who is ill.

BUUUUUUUT, this month, September, is the month we have designated to clean out my former bead room and relocate everything into the basement in preparation for the kid! It's going to be one hell of an operation, considering I can't lug anything down the stairs, but when we're done, we'll be all ready to put up the crib and put together the dresser and the changing table. I wonder if we could get a rocking chair or some other type of comfy chair in there, too, so I have a place to crash while nursing. I think we're also going to put the spare bed from the basement up in there, so maybe that's what I'll make as my comfy spot.

The other day, I got a package from my sister containing two fleece sleepsuits that she bought for me while she was on vacation in Alabama. I took them out of the bag and got all teary-eyed, thinking, holy crap, we're actually going to have a little person to put in there! When Tom came home from work, I showed him, and he had the same reaction - teary-eyed, thinking about our son. Heh. Kids really do change you, I don't care what anybody says!